i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize