Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
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