he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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