So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize