I must be too annoying 4 u.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
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IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
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He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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