I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize