i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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