Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize