direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize