I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i will never coherently bang her
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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