so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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