somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
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we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
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We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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