Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize