i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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