Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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