Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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