So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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