She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize