Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
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I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
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I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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