She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize