1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
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I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
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Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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