So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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