I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize