What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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