So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
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