jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize