oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
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I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
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Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
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