I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize