Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize