I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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