please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
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i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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