I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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