I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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