I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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