Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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