I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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