6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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