I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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