Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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