did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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