I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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