I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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