it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
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IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
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Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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