he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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