My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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