I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
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