I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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