her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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