you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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