I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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